Making My Own Kind of Difference for the Holiday Season

I'm not really sure how I will make a difference this holiday season. I don't have an idea what will I make out of it, besides completing my school requirements. I'm not that kind of guy who actually makes New Year's resolutions and follow through. I always fail at it no matter what. As for making differences for other people, I don't have an idea for that either.

I'm not really fond of the holiday season to start with, because it often just sucks worse with every coming year. Especially, when you have to get your dysfunctional family together and get bothered with the annoying kids from the neighborhood. It's just the same damn thing every year. The only things that changed it for me are the current pandemic and the medicines my psychiatrist prescribed that puts me to sleep before midnight. Besides, the only things I like from it are the massive discounts, food, and the money I'll get and nothing else.

You may call me a "killjoy" or a cynic even, but I'm being honest at least. For real, I'd sleep the Christmas and New Year's Eve off. It's not worth it to lose sleep over a noisy night when my medicines can put me to sleep before the firecrackers can set off. I have other things to do during the Holiday break anyways.

Well, enough with the rant. Making a difference for the holiday season can't be just doing good stuff for others and making resolutions (that I'll break after a week or two). With the pandemic still ongoing and gatherings banned, why not make some for myself ? After all, social gatherings and making close contact became a taboo due to the risk of possibly getting COVID. It's not even a good thing to be positive even. Just kidding!

As for me, I'll start off with making reflections of my experiences throughout the year. Maybe, I'll start journaling. I always liked bullet journals and I haven't been able to set off some time for reflections during the lockdown. I'd always get constant noise in the house from my brothers, our dogs, and neighbors. Though, it's better nowadays because there are less noises and distractions . I really need the solitude and some silence for it. Reflecting on things is important to me because it allows me to see the things that needs to be changed or taken note of.

Other than that, I'll try to tweak my habits and routine. They're not doing me good anymore and I've been in the rut lately. It might've been because of that. Who knows? Having a lot of irregularities in life can really throw me off the balance. That won't be good in the long run unless I make changes. Perhaps, I'll start with doing daily exercises. With my medicines always making me sleepy - which also sometimes tend to persist until the whole day, I'll need to get myself up and going for it. I have to be more awake and alive. Especially, I need the extra energy when I have to do a lot of things for the day. It also allows me to get a grip on disciplining myself because I slip into doing unimportant things often. It's made worse by my horribly short attention span.

Changing myself for better is one of the ways I know best how to make a difference for the holiday season. I don't have anything much for me to give to other people. Especially, when I can't provide well to myself even. I'm not blaming anyone for that. Though, I admit I'm quite selfish sometimes. I just hope they find the time I spend with them pleasant. Happy holidays everyone!